Ash's Gag Reel
by TaiKetch'em
Summary: One-shot of several animes with Pokemon. Concept from BlazBlue. Ash gets the Spectacles of Eros stuck on his face and is unable to remove them, as such ladies from all around just come for his heart. What will he do? No one knows, all I can say is that I feel bad for doing this to him.


One-shot: Yes, story: No. This is a combination of several anime series along with Pokémon. Well actually just Ash from Pokémon no one else. I got this idea form the gag reels in the BlazBlue series where they have the Spectacles of Eros attach to Ragna, and basically all the gals come running at him. Especially in a romantic and humorous way. Basically, making Ash take Ragna's place. Again, there will be no Pokémon girls in this fanfic so if you hate some like Serena, Misty, and… I don't know Bianca, they won't be here.

The character will be from the following

RWBY

Fairy Tail

Kill la kill

SAO

Naruto

Akame ga Kill

Digimon

BlazBlue

Infinite Stratos

The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

Ash was currently heading to Kagutsuchi, he got some kind of telepathic message from Rachel and was asked to go to the restaurant there. Why? He didn't know, she just said it was an important matter. It was Rachel a girl that remembers a timeline every time it repeats itself, so he had to take her word for it.

Maybe she wanted to warn him about what'll happen? It'd have to be that important, he couldn't that anything less important would be the case. I mean, when time turned back she warned one of the heroes about Naruto losing control and becoming the Nine Tailed Fox, and he was told of what mistake they made while trying to fight Salem.

He made to Kagutsuchi while the sun was still up and headed to the restaurant. "Uh, hello? Rachel are you here?" He asked kindly.

"Very good, thank you for coming here Ash Ketch'em." Rachel said as she suddenly appeared like the strange being she was.

"Hey, you asked me to come here for something. Is something bad gonna happen in the future?" He asked.

"Hmm, no. There is something else I wish to speak with you about." She stated.

"Okay, but first; where is everyone else? I thought this place would still have some guests, did they close early or something?" He asked after seeing that there was no one but them in the place.

"They are not open today, which is why I asked you to come here." She explained.

"Well, okay then. Could you please tell me what you wanted to talk with me about?" He asked again.

"Polite as always, you're certainly a wise choice." She then stated.

"Uh? Okay?" He said awkwardly. He decided not to question it because Rachel was a weird one.

"What I wish to speak with you about, is the Spectacles of Eros." She then said to him.

"Spectacles of Eros? Like some kind of glasses?" Ash asked confused.

"Not just any ordinary glasses. The Spectacles of Eros are said to have the ability to draw beings of the opposite sex towards the person who wears it. MK. II has been built from the ground up by the hands of one of the best artisans our world has known. The two arms on the glasses are made from finely honed spikes. By inserting these needles precisely in templates, one can eliminate the annoyances of glasses sliding down and getting in the way of daily routines." She explained.

Ash was still confused as to why she'd bring something like this up. Glasses that attract the opposite sex, that doesn't sound like something she'd want to bring up at all. If anything, he thought it was something she'd consider a waste of time, right?

"Why're are you bringing this up, exactly? It doesn't sound like the kind of thing you'd talk about." He asked.

"Well, if I recall, I believe that Ragna has had experience with these and didn't seem to enjoy himself." Rachel told him.

"Wait, Ragna wore those?" He asked since the Grim Reaper himself didn't seem like that kind of person.

"Indeed, he has, and it just seems although I have them here." She then said as she pulled out some kind of pink butterfly shaped glasses with hearts at the edges.

"Uh, and…?" He was about to ask until… *SMACK* "OW!" He yelled as he felt something attach to his face. "Ah, what the hell!? What happened? GAH! I can't get these things off!" He yelled as he tried to pull the glasses off his face, but they were stuck like super glue.

"And now it seems that you have become one with the Spectacles of Eros." Rachel then said with a small smile.

"What? W-w-why'd you smack them off me for? And couldn't you be just a little gentler?" He asked annoyed.

"Well, I thought Ragna could use a break and I could go find another test subject. After all, Ragna has enough fun." She stated.

"Wait, you said these things attract the opposite gender towards you, right? So, why do you seem normal?" He asked.

"That is something that I am also confused about. No matter what I seem to be resistant to the Spectacles of Eros." She explained with her casual bored expression.

"You're unaffected? Hmm, that is strange." He said.

"3… 2… 1…" Rachel then counted, confusing the boy. He didn't understand but, he was in for a big surprise.

*CRASH*

"AAAASSSHH!" Ruby screamed as she came bursting in at top speed then stopping after she past Ash. "There you are! I've been looking all over for you! I knew you'd have to be here!" She then yelled out as if she was having a heart attack.

"WHOA! What the heck Ruby!?" He said confused.

"Ash, there you are!" Blake then said as she appeared behind him wrapping her arms around him.

"Blake? What are you…?" He was gonna ask as he made her let go.

"Ash, are you here!" Weiss yelled out as her and Yang appeared.

"HA! Finally found you, Ashy!" The blonde brawler then said as she jumped on him knocking him down.

"OOF! Yang, what're you doing!?" He yelled annoyed at what she just did.

"Oh, come on Ashy, I know you love it." Yang then said as she pushed her cleavage up against him making his face turn as red as Ruby's hooded-cape.

"Hey, get off him, Yang! He's mine!" Ruby said as she yanked her sister off.

"Ruby, he belongs to me!" Yang said as she tried to get out of her little sister's grasp but she couldn't seem to get her to let go.

"What the heck are you two fighting about?" Ash asked.

"Oh, don't worry about them, Ash. How about I buy us some dinner? My treat." Weiss then said with a wink.

He was still red from the whole thing with Yang, so he couldn't blush to that, but when Weiss said that, Blake took ahold of his other arm. "No way, I'm treating you to dinner, Ash. Let's go back to my place and you can try some of my cooking." She said with a seductive purr. (Yes, I feel okay enough to use that word)

"Hey, I asked him first! You can't just take him from me." The white-haired girl said annoyed.

"Weird, because I recall that you can't take someone from another if they're not in a relationship with that person." The Faunus girl countered with a sly smirk. "Why don't you just go and be with your little goggle-head water hater, heiress?" She then said.

"Well, why don't you go and be with that monkey, cat!" She shouted, Blake seemed unfazed by the fact that her teammate just got racist.

He then got tugged on the back. "FYI, Ash is my beloved and we were meant to be together." It was Velvet holding the back of his sweat-tee. "Come on Ash, let's ditch these girls and go back to my place. So we can be alone." She then said as she pulled him out of the two's grasp and into her arms.

"Hey, who said you could have him?" Blake asked annoyed.

"Yeah, Bunny-Girl. As far as I'm concerned we supposed to be having dinner!" Weiss then said.

"WHAT!?" Ruby then yelled as she heard what her teammate just said.

"Like hell are you two having dinner!" Yang yelled as she finally got away from her sister and grabbed Ash pulling his face into her cleavage despite the glasses on his face. "Listen here Ash, you are mine and mine alone. We were meant to be." She said holding his head.

"MMMFF! RANN! STPH PHIS! LEPH MPH GOH!" He shouted in-between her well defined… volleyballs.

"Knock it off, Yang! Can't you see that he is uncomfortable in those airbags?" Velvet said pulling him out of her grasp and onto the floor.

"*Snicker* And you're one to talk with your little baseballs of yours?" Yang mocked pointing at her chest.

Velvet looked confused at the moment. She looked at Yang's breast then down to hers and turned red when she realized that she got roasted. "How dare you!" Then an argument broke out about boob sizes which brought the rest of the girls in and gave Ash the chance to sneak away.

"Rachel, where are you?" He asked so scared and embarrassed.

"What could a celebrity like you, possible want with me Ash?" Rachel asked as she appeared before him.

"Very funny, listen I don't know what kind of joke you think this is, but it's not funny." He said annoyed. "Can these glasses really make girls this insane for someone?" He asked.

"That's correct. Nobody can resist the allure of the Spectacles of Eros in any version. Every lady that you've, encountered or so shall encounter, will fall madly in love with you." She explained.

"Ash, why are you being friendly to that girl? Get away from her." Ruby said as she tried to yank him away.

"Hey, hey, Ruby knock it off!" He yelled.

*CRASH* "Where is Ash!?" Coco's voice then echoed out as she came in, looked around and saw him. "I finally found you!" She ran over and grabbed him, pulling him down and putting him in a choke hold. "So, this is where you were hiding. Tell me, why didn't you come to me?" She said with angry grin.

"What the-Coco!? Not you too." Ash struggled to get a word out.

"Oh, and what made you think I wouldn't be out looking for my fiancé." She then said.

"Fiancé!?" He said confused.

"Oh no, Coco! He's gonna be my husband!" Ruby said as she shoved the older brunette off her beloved.

"Oh, please. Do you even know how old he is compared to you, kid? I'm legal and therefore I'm gonna be his wife in the future." She then countered with a sly grin.

"I'm the leader of team RWBY!" The little red and black-haired girl tried to counter back.

"Well, I'm the leader and hottest of Team CFVY. You still have yet to develop kid."

Hearing that made Ruby red as her cape and she was about to say something when… "Yeah, well newsflash; I'm more sexy than you are Coco." Yang said with her boobs on top of her little sister.

"Excuse me, I'm clearly the hot one in Team RWBY." Blake said as she held her buns up for the boy to see. "Look at this, what do you call it? Bellabooty?" She then said with a smile.

"Oh, please. You couldn't know beauty if I'm in front of you." Weiss then said as she held her arms up.

"He's not into hot woman, he's into cuties, which is why his heart belongs to me and me alone!" Velvet then came in.

"Velvet, I'm your leader and therefore you listen to me. He's my fiancé, and therefore I'm to be his bride in the future." Coco then said to her teammate.

"Like hell! I'm beautiful and my white look goes perfect with the bride's dress I'm gonna wear." Weiss then gloated.

"Back off Ice-Queen Ash I'm gonna be Ash's bride and that's that!" Ruby then yelled as they all got into a heated argument about who's to be Ash's future wife while the 'celebrity' just backed away.

"What a beautiful sight. You know, if you ask nicely, I can tell you a way to negate the Spectacles' effects." Rachel said to him.

"Wait, I can remove these things?" Ash asked.

"Of course." she responded.

"Then please, you gotta tell me how to! I'm begging you." He then said as he got on his knees and bowed pleadingly.

*CRASH!* "AAAAASSSSHHH!" Sakura and Ino's voice literately screamed out which terrified the boy.

"Where have you been all this time!" Ino said as she ran up and jumped onto his back as he struggled to keep balance.

"Ash, I don't know why, I don't know how, but I love you so much! Please be my boyfriend!" Sakura then said as she snuggled against him.

"What the hell!? What're you two doing here?" Ash said as he tried to keep balance. 'Wait how many girls have I met during my travels?' He then thought to himself.

"Hey, I was here first Sakura, back off!" Ino scolded her friend.

"Excuse me, first you try to take Sasuke from me now Ash?" The pink head then said annoyed.

"Yeah, well why does it make you angry that I'm going for him?" The blonde then said as she squeezed the boy tighter pushing her up against him.

"Can't… breath." He said as he began turning blue.

"*Gasp* Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. Are you okay." She said as she released him.

"*GASP*! Alive, still alive." He said which reassured them.

"See, you nearly killed him, Ino. I'm more gentle, unlike you." Sakura said as she hugged his arm lightly.

"If I go more gentle, it means that other girls like you will easily take him from me." The blonde then said as she grabbed his other arm.

"Hey, can you two please stop this." He asked them as he took both arms away.

"WHERE IS HE!" He heard Weiss shout.

Oh boy, the girls that were fighting over him before found him. "HEY HE'S MINE!" They all shouted.

Then they all got into another heated debate as the boy backed away again and managed to avoid them. Then he heard what sounded like a cat fight going on, the banging, crashing and cat noises prove to be a yes.

"Okay, I can not take anymore of this insanity." Ash said with his hands on his head.

"You sound really stressed out, Ashy." A sweat young and innocent voice said as he flinched. "You know…" A pair of arms then wrapped around his collarbone and he felt two orbs press against his back. "I can help you sooth it if you'd like."

He then yelped while getting out of the grasp and turned to see… "Mira?"

"*Giggle* Hi, Ash!" She then in her usual sweat tone.

"Oh crap, not you too." He said as he looked at the Satan controller.

"A-Ash…" Then heard Lucy's voice as he turned to see her with a painful expression on her face.

"A-are you okay Lucy?" He asked.

"I-I'm… Wonderful now that you're here!" She then said as hearts appeared in her eyes.

Just great, she was affected by it as well. "Well, I guess I'm just gonna…" He said as he was backing up but then stopped when he bumped into something. He turned around and of all the people he could've bumped into. "Erza?"

Erza seemed different, she was breathing heavily as if she just ran a thousand miles along with a blush. "Ash…" She then grabbed his collar and pulled him down to face her. "Why… why do I love you so much?" She said heavily.

"… Uh, Erza, could you please let go?" He asked.

"… As you wish… darling." She said after letting him go.

"Thank you… wait what did you just call me?" He asked again.

"I read it in this book, 'Call your loved ones 'darling' to show affection'." She explained with that blush still on her face.

"Why Erza, I didn't believe you were in to such books." Mirajane said with her usually sweat expression.

"I'm not, I just found someone that I'm in love with as well, so I looked around for anything." The red head said to her comrade.

These girls are so crazy they'd think they'd need to read a book on love to find it. "Hey Ash, how about go take a table?" Lucy asked with those hearts still in her eyes. Somehow, he forgot she was here.

"H-Hey, big, boi!" Cana's voice then came in as she came from behind the boy with him in one arm and a mug of alcohol in her other. "Grab a brr… and leth's get this sthow on the rode…" He then said as she downed the mug.

"Ugh, I don't even think you're affected by this, you're just drunk, aren't you?" He asked as she hiccupped.

"….Mer-Maybe….." She then said as she fell to the ground.

"Oh, don't worry about her Ash, we'll take care of her after our little date." Lucy then said as she grabbed his arm.

"I'm sorry Lucy, but he can't." Mira then said.

"HUH!? What do you mean he can't!?" The blonde asked surprised.

"Well you see, he has plans with me." The white-haired beauty then said as she went for his other.

"Excuse me, but if you wanna go back to fighting like when we were kids, I'll gladly do it for my darling." Erza then said with her arms around his neck.

They all glared at each other while Ash was not having the best time. *CRASH! * "Hey, back off my man you hoes!" A screaming voice came out as someone came bursting in sending the three flying.

As the dust cleared Ash saw the last person he wanted to see here… "R-R-Ryuko?" He said nervously as she turned to him. Not only that, but she already had Senketus active.

"Hey there, sweat cheeks! How's my handsome man doing?" She asked as she walked up to him. "So, I see that you seem to be bringing the bitches as usual. I'm jealous that my man has been letting them have their way with you but now mwah?" She said seductively as the boy was backing away until he bumped into someone again.

"Troubled by my sister?" Again, two familiar arms wrapped around him as he felt two things press against his back. "Maybe I can pleasure your needs." Satsuki's voice whispered into his ear.

'The two sisters together… why not?' He thought annoyed as this was beginning to become even more worse by the second.

"SIS! HE'S MINE!" Ryuko yelled as she shoved off her sister.

When he looked they both had their Kamuis active. "Oh, I'm sorry if I was just offering pleasure him." The older woman said to the younger.

"Yeah, well pleasure this!" The middle finger was then given to her.

"Oh, I am so affected." Satsuki countered with a smug grin as another heated debate began...

"Psh, hey!" He heard a voice as he looked down at Senketus who was glaring at him. "Look, I don't what you did, but Ryuko and Satsuki activated me and Junketus racing each other here. Whatever you did to them, you need to stop it, now." He said to him.

"It's not me, it's these stupid glasses stuck to my face." Ash told him.

"Well then take them off."

"I can't, they're basically glued on."

"Ugh, well you better move those legs while you have them. If anything, they gonna destroy this place and take you with it if you don't get outta here." Senketus said to him.

He just nodded and looked for a way out, first hiding under a table. He looked around, there were many different holes from when the other girls came bursting in, but they all seemed to be dead giveaways that he was trying to escape.

Team RWBY, Coco, Velvet, and the Ninja girls were just around the corner, the wizard girls were arguing over at the one of busted open walls and the sisters were in front of the entrance. Man, if only Rachel was here he could've… Actually, he wouldn't be in this mess at all if it wasn't for her, so now he blamed her.

He had to choose one way out though and the best way was to use the one that was pretty far from everyone. He snuck over to the hole, he looked around to see if anyone was around. He though he could get away with getting out from the tables… but that was actually a mistake he just made.

He turned to make sure he wasn't getting watched, it seemed he was in the clear. "Hello there, Ash." But off course, he can never get a break. He turned to the three voices behind him and saw, Noel, Tsubaki and Makoto of all people he could've met with smiles on their faces.

"Ah, hi there, girls." He said nervously.

"Ash, let me tell about my feelings." Noel said as she seemed to push something onto one of his arms.

"DAH! What the heck is this?" He said as he felt something comfortable on his arm.

"It's a full sized body pillow… of me! Ohmygosh, this is so embarrassing… It's the… limited edition raunchy version!" She then said with a nervous expression.

"What the… did you make… how did you get this?" He asked confused as to why she had a body pillow of herself.

"PSH, just toss that thing in the trash." Makoto said as she shoved off Noel then grabbed the pillow throwing it a good distance making the blonde girl cry anime tears.

"Aww! Makoto, that was so mean! How can you just throw away my feelings like that?" She then said in a sad tone.

"Talk about that later. C'mon, more importantly, Ashy, you're gonna wanna accept 'my' feelings." Makoto then said as she pressed something against Ash's other arm.

"GH! What the heck is… what's with the two squishy parts?" He asked nervous again.

"The Makoto Nanaya special edition wrist rest mouse pad. It uses an actual molding of my underbreasts, so I can guarantee authenticity." She then said with a big smile on her face.

"WHA!?" Noel said shocked.

"W-where do you people get the stuff to make these things?" Ash asked more confused again.

"C'mon, don't be shy now give it a good touch. Now you can use your mouse all day long with no worry for carpal tunnel. It's fit your left and right hand, so give it up for the underboob!" The squirrel girl said as she push it further while he pushed it off.

"With the blade of retribution and scales of judgement, I come to deliver righteous justice!" Tsubaki then said as she pulled out her blade and shield.

"Wait, are you…?" The boy was about to ask until…

"Unleashing Sealed Weapon: Izayoi!  
Noel, Makoto, prepare yourselves! For I will stop you, in the name of love!" She then said she was prepared to fight.

"Come on you guys, knock it off… Oh, shit you did not just say in the name of love, did you?" He asked scared.

"I did." She said as she landed in front of him.

"Wait… does that mean…?" He didn't know what to say.

"WE LOVE YOU!" The three of them said at the same time.

"I love, Ash." Noel hugged him.

"Not as much as I do!" Makoto pushes his right arm in-between her… assets.

"No, my love is truer." Tsubaki then took his left arm.

"GH! Enough!" He yelled as he pushed the three away from him. "Look, I get that you all seem to like me but… could you all please just calm down?" The moment he finished that sentence, something came crashing through another wall.

"ASH!"

"Oh, crapbaskets." He looked over and saw three different human women and one fairy.

"There you are!" Lizbeth said as she was the first to spot him and run to him. "Do you know how hard it was to find you, Ash? Why didn't you tell me, you were gonna be here, sweetheart?" She asked as she gave him a bear crushing hug.

"DGH, LIZ! CAN'T BREATHE!" He yelled.

"Oh, sorry." She said as she let go.

Then Silica ran over. "Ash, you should've told me you were gonna be here!" She then jumped onto him with her little body.

"Whoa, whoa, Silica! Calm down!" He then said as he put her down.

"I can't believe you came to Kagutsuchi, I was just thinking of coming here as well!" Leafa said as she flew in and picked him off his feet into the air for a gentle hug.

"Gah, well I'm not planning on staying here." Ash said as he got out of the hug and landed on the ground.

"Oh, what a coincidence, me too." The fairy then tried to make up.

Then a bullet was fired in her direction as she barely dodged it. "Back off Sylph, he's all mine!" Sinon said as she angerly headed towards the boy. "And you, how dare you make me go on a man-hunt for you! I don't know why I'm in love with you, but I just don't care! Now come here, and let's make out." she then said.

'Sheesh, they go crazier for these glasses more than they did for Kirito.' He thought freaking out.

"Okay, okay, back up bullet psycho! I got here first and he's 'my' boyfriend, so…" Lizbeth was about to say.

"What!? You can't say that! It was hard for me to get here especially since you all have long legs, I should get the right to be his girlfriend since I worked harder to get here!" Silica then said.

"Well, I can blow you away with a simple spell, what can you guys do to stop it?" Leafa then said as she flew above the group.

"Ash I don't know why you're with these women, but I think it's time you come with me." Noel then yanked away from the group.

"Hey, calm down." He told her, then Makoto grabbed him, trying to pull both his sweat-tee and shirt off. "Hey, stop that Makoto!"

"I'm trying to examine that manly chest of yours, I know you've got a four pack under there somewhere! Just let me have some fun." She said as she still tried to pull both off.

"Cut it out." Then Tsubaki's hand just so happened to move to where it counts. "DAH HA! Tsubaki? Why the hell did you just put your hand there."

"*Gasp* I'm sorry! I have trouble seeing because Izayoi steals light from me… so I was just feeling around to see where you went, and I accidentally…" She tried to tell him.

"Okay, okay, start by putting that weapon away!" He said as he moved her away.

"Lousy excuse, back off!" The squirrel the shoved the red head off.

"How can this get any worse?" Ash then heard…

"DID SOMEONE SAY MY NAME!?" A certain brawler's voice popped up.

"I just had to say something." He then said with his hand on his face.

It was then that Bullet jumped in with Kokonoe. "Mr. Ketch'em, I presume." The cat beastkin said as he was already found by them.

"How dare you make me go on a man-hunt…" Bullet then grabs him by the neck and brings they faces close.

"GAH! Bullet, not so rough!" He said in protest.

"Ash Ketch'em, why the hell do I love you so much?" She asked him.

'Wait, didn't something like this happen before?' He thought as he remembered back to Erza. "GAH! Let me go!" he struggled to get out.

"Bullet, don't play so roughly." Kokonoe then said.

"I, uhh… I'm sorry. I just don't have experience with situations like these. Are you okay… err… darling?" Bullet suddenly said.

"*Cough, cough* Well, besides surviving your suffocating strength I'm still… wait, did you just call-let me guess, you read it in a book to call those you love darling?" He then asked.

"Well, looks like I've fallen for a telepathic, yes I did read it in a book." She then stated.

"Oh? The Ikaruga Walker's 'Advice on love', huh? I'm impressed you had such a book laying around, Bullet." The pink cat girl stated.

"I-I searched really hard for it. I mean, after all… I found someone that I love too, right?" The brawler then stated.

'Even Bullet can't resist… just great.' He thought not realizing that Kokonoe was checking out his left arm.

"Ooh, this is in ruff shape." She said as Ash yelped and jumped away from her. "Oh relax, I was just checking your arm to see if it needs to be replaced." She stated.

"Really? But, my arm looks fine." He said as he looked at said arm.

"Looks can be deceiving, that arm is in no shape to be there." She told him.

"So, you're not affected by these glasses." He asked.

"What? Oh, yeah, they look good or whatever. You want an arm in good condition, or not?" She stated as Ash just nodded confused. "Okay, don't worry it's still under warranty. Lemme just swap it out with this newer model!" She said as she took out another arm and was gonna go to Ash until.

"HELL, NO!" Sinon's voice shouted as she fired at the arm breaking it.

"Hey! What the hell was that about!?" Kokonoe said annoyed.

"Okay, everyone calm down, I think it's clear she not under this love spell or whatever." He tried to say.

"Oh, please. Did you even examine this arm? Take a closer look!" The blue-haired sniper said as she shoved the hand in his face.

"What are you talking about?" Ash asked confused.

"*Gasp!* Ash, right there on the ring finger!" Leafa pointed out.

"Wha… a ring? Oh, for fu-are you serious Kokonoe?" He asked.

"DOH! Hey that's not just any ring, that's an engagement ring!" Liz then freaked as Kokonoe snarled.

"Exactly, she tried to attack a new arm on you, and with an engagement ring preinstalled. Not only that, this ring unremovable, so you couldn't remove it." Sinon then stated.

"Huh, good catch." The pink cat girl stated. "I simply materialized my affection for you." She said with a blush across her face.

"I knew it, you weren't immune." The boy said with a groan.

"I knew it from the very beginning, you wouldn't just go carrying around left arms coincidently." Tsubaki said to a wall.

"… Tsubaki, you're talking to a wall." Silica stated.

"Can't you just put Izayoi away? You should be completely blind at this point." Ash pointed out.

"Oh, that won't do, otherwise I'd be losing the competition." She then said to him.

"What competition?" He asked.

"Sorry, ladies but Ash here is already taken." Bullet said as she was about put her arm around the boy.

"Yeah, by me!" Leafa grabbed her hand and forced her back.

"As if, Sylph! I still got some ammo left and I will use it!" Sinon said as she pointed her sniper rifle at the fairy.

"Actually, I already got your ammo right here." Kokonoe said holding a pack of bullets in her hand.

"Huh? Wait!? You got into my back up!?" The blue-haired sniper was mad now.

"Please, look at these killer curves right here!" Makoto then joined in on the argument.

"Oh, come on. He's not into bimbos like you!" Lizbeth then countered. "Isn't that right my belo…" She didn't finish as she saw that Ash had suddenly vanished.

"Rachel! Where are you!? Please, I need you to tell me how to get these off my face!" He called out in fear as he was in the bathroom. "Naw, what am I doing? She'd not gonna come into the boy's room. I guess I'll just wait here and hope that they'll all just leave." He said as he sat in one of the stalls, he shouldn't count himself out just yet.

He heard the sound of a muffled crashing noise, then he realized that he was caught, then he'd definitely have no where to run. He made his way out of the stall then opened the door, some of the girls he left were still fighting while others seemed to be looking around… no doubt for him.

He looked around the room and spotted Rachel in the farthest part of the room from everyone with her usual bored expression. He smiled at first, but then it faded when he realized how far she was. It was also insulting since she knew what he'd have to do to get to her.

He had to act like Naruto… or at least Batman and be somewhat as stealthy as one of them. He managed to get a good distance, but Team RWBY was heading his way while they were still arguing. He had to think quick, then he spotted a cardboard box next to a mop and bucket. Guess he had to be Solid Snake.

He crawled over and quickly got under the box, then he heard the argument of the girls pass by and felt relieved that it actually worked. He then got out from under the box and crawled over to one of the tables then spotted Cana still on the floor looking right at him… he then was scared, he got caught by her.

"Mrr, beer please?" She said as she collapsed again.

Or she's still drunk and he was still safe. Any who, he seemed to be making it over with no problem what so ever as he rolled over to the next table. He didn't want anymore of this… unfortunately, that wish just won't be granted.

*CRASH!* Something cam crashing through the ceiling right on top of him.

TaiKetch'em: Before this part begins, I just wanna say that some of the characters from Infinite Stratos are from other countries such as Germen, England and France, so if I do a bad English accent, I'm sorry.

"Ow! Houki, get off me!" Rin yelled annoyed.

"Charlotte, this is unprofessional!" Laura said as Charlotte was on top of her.

"What a second, where is Ash?" Houki then said as they couldn't see him.

"Mph…" They heard a groan as Cecilia looked under her to see his face in-between her you-know-what.

"*Gasp!* Oh, my word! I am so sorry about that my dear-Ash, are you okay?" She asked as they all go up and deactivated their IS's.

He gasped for air with a red face, how could this go from Team RWBY smothering him to all this nonsense? He got up still red in the face as he saw the girls in front of him. "Oh, not you too." He said now ready to freak since the students from the IS Academy now seemed affected.

"Ash, I have decided to make you my bride! I will not accept any objections!" Laura declared.

"Enough with the marriage crap, Laura! More importantly, you clearly want me for this, am I right?" Houki said after shoving the silver-headed girl away.

"No way, come on Ash, let's go." Rin said as she grabbed Ash's arm.

"I think not!" Cecilia said as she took hostage of his other. "Him and I are due for dinner alone, isn't that right Ash-dear?" She said them as he blushed again.

"Hey, you're face goes red when she says something but not when I do?" Houki then said annoyed. "Come on Ash, we got plans." She then grabbed his collar and yanked him away from the two.

"AGH! Hey!" He yelled.

"Non! I am in need of his service more than you!" Charlotte then said got in front of her.

"Hang on just one second…" He said trying to escape Houki's grasp.

"And where do you think you are going with my bride?" Laura said as she grabbed Ash and pulled him away. "He belongs to me, and he shall choose me!"

"Stop it, you guys! I didn't agree to any of this!" He said while in the Germen IS user's arms.

"Back off! He's coming with me!" Rin hugged him by the waste.

"Non! I told you I needed his service more than you!" Charlotte goes for the chest.

"We haven't had dinner yet." Cecilia on his left arm.

"Oh no you don't, he's coming with me!" Houki on his right arm.

All the girls were glaring at each other for a certain amount of time again. 'Yeesh, now I can see what Ichika goes through… unless this is worse.' Ash thought to himself as he didn't wished he brought some Pokémon with him.

But the worse has yet to come. *CRASH* "HEY YO BITCHES!" Another voice shouted as all girl were beaten off him.

'And today just keeps getting better.' He thought as he saw who did that.

And was immediately jumped on and pinned to the ground with his view blocked by two squishy things. "Hey there, handsome." Leone said in her excited tone.

"ERPH! Leona, whath arph you dthin." He asked muffled.

"I'm simply letting you enjoy the feeling between my bubs! You should be lucky, only a people I find worthy are aloud near these sweet cheeks." She said as she let her tail lay on his arm which was pinned down by her paw.

"Yeph, ofkay, I geth it noph." He moved his head up and gasped for air as he was released. "Can you let me go now?" He asked her, then she gave off and uncomforting smile.

"I think I'm gonna stay a little longer, so you can enjoy the love you're getting." She then moved down and whispered into his ear before licking it.

"Alright, that's enough!" He pushed her up then off of him and got up himself. "Why do you have your Imperial Arms active?" He asked.

"Why not? I did need it to win the race over here." She stated.

"Wait, race ove-oh you cannot be serious." He then face palmed as he knew that she wasn't the only one.

"What do you mean?" Sheele's voice popped in as he jumped from it and turned to see her. "Is something the matter, Ash?" She asked in her normal tone, but the look in her eyes says something other than normal.

"Yeah, an ongoing thing that I don't wanna be a part of." He said as he backed up.

"Now, now, just where do you think you're going?" Leone said as she wrapped her arms around his legs.

"Okay, firstly; you, get off." He said as he flicked her in the forehead. "And sec-whoa! Gah!" He stopped when Sheele was already in front of him again.

"Ash, please wait for a moment." She asked him politely, then wrapped her arms around his neck and got on her toes. "I… I have something I have been aching to tell you for the longest time. I know this seems sudden, but… I love you." She then said with a sad expression in her eyes.

'And there's something new for ya.' He thought as the hairs on the back of his neck were already up.

"Honestly, I can't believe they haven't decided to take the bus. It's so much easier and I managed to get here befo…" Mine then said as she walked in only to see Ash and Sheele in the stance they were in.

"Please tell me that at least you aren't affected by this, Mine." He asked as her face turned into a pissed one with a twitching eye.

"GEEEEETTT OFF MY MAN!" She screamed as she took out Pumpkin and blasted at them forcing them to separate to take cover.

"HOLY SHIT!" Ash shouted at the top of his lungs after just seeing his life flash before his eyes. "What the hell, Mine!? I almost died!" He scolded her.

"Well at least you deserve it, you jerk!" She then yelled back at him as he looked at her confused. "Dumbass, spending time with another behind the back of the one who loves you!? Shame on you!"

"I wasn't given a choice and frankly, if you really love someone you wouldn't be trying to kill…" He trailed off when he saw her charging up again.

"Don't you dare talk back to me!" She was about to fire again until she was picked up by her dress by none other than Chelsea.

"Wow, killing the boy of your dreams? Sounds like you've already lost this." She said to her which got her angry again.

"Hey, put me down! Let me go!" The little pink-haired girl yelled as she flailed about.

"Keep being cute like that, but it an't gonna get'cha back in the game. Besides, compared to my breast, you don't stand a chance." Chelsea then stated pointing at Mine's chest.

Insulted she then threatened to kill her while blasting everywhere, while Ash was still under a table. Sheele and Leone seemed to have the same idea while Chelsea was still holding the psycho in the air, he needed to get out. "PSH!" He heard the sound of someone calling to him as he looked to the source and saw Akame behind a closet door motioning him to come.

He looked over his options, stay with the psycho Mine, breast squishing Leone, and Sheele and Chelsea who he doesn't know what they might do, or go to safety with Akame. Yeah, no way in hell was he staying. He crawled over to the closet and was pulled inside then had the door shut.

"Akame, what are you doing?" He asked her.

"What does it look like? I'm simply getting you out of danger." She responded.

"Uh, okay." He said unsure.

"I'm not sure what happened, but it seems as though some of the female members of Night Raid has come to claim your heart. I have a feeling you have something since you are the one they want." She stated.

"Well, for starters; I wasn't the one who wanted this, Rachel slapped these glasses on my face and they're stuck." He explained to her.

"I see, so it's these 'glasses' that are the cause of this?" She asked him.

"Exactly, I need to get to Rachel. She knows how to get these off and I need to talk to her." He said as he again tried to pull them off with no success.

"I believe we shouldn't worry about that just yet." She then said confusing him. "Don't you think we have bigger concerns?" She then asked him.

"What? What could be more of a concern than this?" He asked her while pointing at the glasses.

"To begin I kinda think this feels nice." She stated.

"Huh? What do you mean?" He asked her.

"Well…" She then blushed and laid her sword against the wall then got down on top of him. "We are alone, are we not?" She the said as she used one of her hands to caress his face.

"Aw crap." He said to himself.

It seems not even Akame is able to resist those glasses. "Ash… there… there has something I've been… meaning to tell you." She said as she got closer to his face.

"Nope! Nope! Nope!" Ash started repeating as he pushed her off then scurried his way to the door opening it and heading out only to be greeted by the IS and Night Raid girls that were still outside who had pissed faces… except Sheele, she just looked upset.

"AAAAAssssshhh…" They growled angry.

"Uh, heh… hey there." He said nervously as Akame got up.

"What do you think you're doing in there with Akame?" Houki asked angry.

"I… well… I-it's not what it looks like I swear." He said holding his hands up in defense.

"That's it…" Mine growled powering up her weapon. "YOU'RE DEAD!"

(Commercial break)

TaiKetch'em: And now a word from our sponsor… a word from our sponsor… HEY! Where's our sponsor!?

MarioKid: Dude, I don't think we have a sponsor.

TaiKetch'em: Wha…? Well, what was the point of this then?

MarioKid: To save Ash from a beat-down?

TaiKetch'em: Really? Huh… oh well, commercial break's over, let's get going people.

Rachel was currently being amused by what Ash was going through right now, she felt bad about torturing him like this and watching for amusement, but it was too much for her to pass. "I see you've become quite skilled with your stealth now, Ash." She said as she knew he was under the table next to her.

"UGH! I can't take this! C'mon Rachel, you have to tell me how to get these off?" He begged.

"Giving up?" She asked him.

"No, wanting to live to see another day!" He yelled freaked out.

"Strange, I would've expected you to be pleased by all the attention showering over you." She stated.

"AHA! Yeah, funny! NO! I don't want these on me!" He demanded.

She just scowled and looked away. "How, impolite."

"N-n-no! Wait I'm sorry, I'm sorry I…" He tried to apologize as she disappeared, and he tripped almost falling to the ground before being grabbed by something.

"Are you okay?" Another female voice came in as he looked behind him and saw Mimi holding his hand.

"Oh, no…" He said as Mimi was definitely trouble.

"Thank goodness I arrived in time, any later and you could've got hurt." She said as she pulled him to his feet.

"Uh, okay well…" He was about to say until he saw the blush on Mimi's face.

"Nope, Nope, Nope!" He said as he was about to leave but was stopped by Sora.

"About time! Do you know how hard it was to find you? I looked everywhere!" She scolded him.

"There you are Ash! Why aren't you at Kanto like I thought you would be?" Kari then came in and asked.

"Uh, well…" He tried to say until Mimi grabbed ahold of his shirt. "Hey, cut it out Mimi!" He said getting her off.

"I just want to see that manly chest of yours! Take off your shirt!" She then tried to pull it off again.

"No way, back off!" He said holding her back.

"Yeah, girl. He's mine." Sora then shoved her off and looked into the boy's face.

"No! He's mine!" Kari then protested as all three got into a fight.

Ash thought he could sneak away again… but nope. "ASHY!" He was then tackled from behind by none other than Haruhi who clung to his back. "Where were you!? Have you been avoiding me this entire time? That's something that will get you the 'Death Penalty' you know!" She then said angry.

"What the heck? I thought you wanted an alien or time traveler boyfriend or something." He said while holding on her arms to keep her from choking him.

"Oh please, I can make an acceptation! Besides, you and I have some catching up to do after you ditched me last time." She said putting on a tighter grip.

"Stop it, too tight!" He yelled at her.

Then he felt something grab his arm. "Uh, um…"

"Huh? Mikuru?" He said confused as he saw her hold his arm.

"I… just wanted to tell you something…. And we have to be alone." She said nervously.

"Huh?" He said confused, how is a time traveler like Mikuru under this spell as well?

"Tell him later, Mikuru! I have something to tell him first." Haruhi then decides to take Ash away with her.

"B-but…" She tried to say.

"Hey, hey, nnnno! I'm taking him with me." Mimi grabbed him and tried to pull him away.

"TRY ME!" But the girl wasn't gonna give up anytime soon.

"No! He's mine!" Sora and Kari then tried to do the same.

Mikuru watched and looked upset that he was currently occupied with other girls at the moment, but then… *CRASH* a cat fight had just begun, and Ash managed to get away from it. Only to bumped into a certain purple haired glasses wearer.

"Yuki Nagato? What're… wait hold on." He began saying then thought. 'Do these things work on aliens as well?'

His thought was correct when she suddenly walked up to him, just let her head drop onto him and moved her arms up slowly and slowly wrapped them around him. Yep, not even an alien made being like Yuki Nagato was able to resist.

"Um, excuse me, Ash…" Mikuru said as she walked up to him.

"Hold that thought, Mikuru." He said as he forced Yuki's hands off him and walked off while the cat fight dragged on. "Rachel! Come on, enough jokes, just tell me how to get these things o…" He was about to say until he heard a crunch.

He looked below him and saw that he had stepped on… popcorn? He looked around to see where it was coming from and what do ya know, he saw several men sitting nearby. Those men were Sun, Neptune, Naruto, Sasuke, Natsu (Who had the popcorn), Gray, Aikuro, Ragna, Jin, Kirito, Ichika, Tatsumi, Lubbock (Who looked jealous), Tai, Matt, TK, Kyon and Istuki.

"…Uh, okay. And just what the hell are you guys doing here?" He asked annoyed.

"Nothing, we just saw all these ladies gather up here and decided to check it out." Tatsumi explained.

"Yeah, we saw what's been happening and thought, why not see what'll happen." Natsu said as he shoved a handful of popcorn in his mouth.

"Sorry, we wanted to tell you but it was such an amusement that we wanted to see what might happen." Itsuki stated as Ash looked at him annoyed.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS!? I spent the entire day nearly suffocating from all these girls and you guys just stayed back for shits and giggles!?" He scolded them annoyed.

"Well, it was kinda funny to see Blake cling to you like that. The normal her wouldn't have the guts to even say Bellabooty." Sun stated.

"Besides, now you get to see what I've been putting up with, with those things." Ragna said with a grin.

"Are you for fu…" The boy didn't finish as Rachel appeared. "YOU! PLEASE, TELL ME HOW TO GET THESE OFF!" He screamed at her.

"Very well, I shall enlighten you. There is but one way to undo the spell of the current version… Make them angry!" She then said shocking the boy.

"I'm sorry what?" He asked confused.

"Anger each and every lady here and the spell shall be broken. And yes, at you."

"PFF! Haha… you're serious aren't you?"

"…"

"… Okay, guess so. But problem is… I don't wanna die, and getting people angry is Ragna's thing." Ash explained.

"Damn right, it is." The Grim Reaper stated.

"No matter, there is no other way." She told him.

"…Okay… let's see…" He then started to think about the person who could easily be angered that couldn't kill him in an instant. "Uh… Erza!" He called as he went over to her.

"Something you need, darling?" She then said as she turned to him in an instant.

"You know, I'm just so surprised at how stupid you are. You're the dumbest person I have ever met." He said to her hoping it would work.

"W-wha…?" She then said as the color drained form her body.

'Bad idea, bad idea, retreat, retreat!' "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry I didn't mean that! I swear!" He instantly apologized, only to be hugged by the red head. "DGH! What the?"

"Ash, I love you so much! I could forgive anything you say." She then said to him.

"Okay, okay, that didn't work." He said as she released him.

"Oh, Ash… such a shy boy." She then said sweetly.

"Okay, someone else… someone with a little more of a temper… Houki!" He then called over as she turned to him with a smile.

"Oh, Ash! Have you decided on me?" She asked.

"Of course not! Your eyes suck, they have an evil look to them. Keep those pep holes closed!" He said trying to be mean.

"W-wha…?" She asked confused.

"Dammit, that's too far." He said to himself.

"Then do whatever you wish, my love." She said as she closed her eyes and moved closer to him.

"Again? What's going on here? I thought Houki would get just a little angry."

"Then you don't know how a girl's heart works." Rachel stated. "A girl has the ability to transform any insult from the one they love into compliments. For example, what you just said to Erza translated to; You can't do anything without me, can you? I guess I'd better stay at your side. And Houki's was probably; Look at me so much, and you'll make my heart melt, beautiful." She told him.

"You serious!? How am I supposed to get a girl angry if all the insults I say are compliments? Not to mention I'm always gonna be apologizing each time I do it." He asked.

Then the sound of the door to the restaurant opened. "Oh, hi there Ash!" It was another one.

"Wha… Tatenashi?" He asked confused.

"That's me. Oh, wait a second, what's with all these girls?" She asked.

"NO! Stay away from me, don't come closer!" He warned her.

"Hmm, why's that exactly?" She asked confused and not crazy like.

"Hmm? Wait, you don't feel strange? Like at all? Are you really Tatenashi?" He asked.

Then he heard her giggle. "Of course, I'm real. What are you talking about silly?" She asked with a smile that seemed completely normal.

"So, Tatenashi is immune? Why's that?" He asked confused.

"Hey Ash, if she's not different she doesn't like you because of the glasses! If anything she probably likes you for real." Ragna pointed out.

"Wow, it works on everyone except the person who likes you for real, who knew?" Ichika said impressed.

"What?" Ash asked surprised.

"In other words, she interacts with you with as much love as the Spectacles of Eros would normally generate… all the time." Rachel explained.

"That's… not possible is it?" He asked.

"To be more precise, some of these girls might have crushes on you, but unless they actually feel love towards you it won't count." She pointed out.

"Hey, what are you talking about behind my back? That I like Ash?" Tatenashi asked as she pressed herself against Ash's back and got pushed off. "Well, of course I like Ash, you didn't know that?" She asked.

"Oh, well… I didn't think that you hated me but… when you just let it out… It's just a little… okay this is embarrassing." He said blushing as he turned away.

"Aaaasssshhh…" He heard every single girl that he saw today behind him.

"What is your relationship with that girl?" Haruhi asked pissed.

"Is she your girlfriend?" Mine then asked in the same tone.

"This is uncalled for!" Coco said in the same matter.

"Who would've guessed?" Lucy asked.

"Keeping her hidden from us…? How mean…" Then came Ryuko.

"Are you really into people with blue hair?" Leafa snarled.

"And when it seems nothing can get them angry there's always jealousy. Well, nice knowing you, but I gotta be on my way out." Ragna then said as he took his leave.

"Wait, WHAT!" Ash freaked since Ragna was abandoning him.

Lubbock: Uh, good luck!

Kyon: I wish you the best of luck.

Natsu: Oh, I just realized that I left my oven on.

Naruto: That's right, I promised Luffy a battle today, I should get going.

TK: Uh, um… Oh no, I forgot to water the flowers.

Kirito: Oh crap, I forgot that I have a date with Asuna. Sorry, but I gotta go.

Sun: I gotta, uh… I-I gotta, um, I need to… oh, forget it! *Jumps out window*

Each and every one of the guys ran out one by one. Meanwhile Ash cried anime tears, he was about to get a beatdown and his friends are abandoning him. He looked back over to all the females who were angry and had murder in their eyes. Aaaaaaaand….

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

(At the camera room)

TaiKetch'em: … Wow… there is no way we can show this to the public, so gruesome and deadly. Yeesh. Book a sound stage, let's just do a reenactment of it, only less gore.

And to all the people that read this fanfic, there are a ton of girls for possible shippings and I'm here to say that if you're into those kinds of shippings, don't keep them hidden, give in and write a fanfic about them. That's what I did. I don't care if it's Ash x Laura from Infinite Stratos, Ash x Noel from Blazblue, if you want shippings like these then just do the fanfic. I won't judge you if you won't do it, but if you want to make it, just do it.

So, DO IT! Just, DO IT! Don't let your dreams be dreams people! DO IT! MAKE YOUR DREAMS REAL! Just…. DO IT! Is that enough motivation? Okay then, I'm off to go resurrect Ash so, take care read my other stories and show some love. Thanks for reading.


End file.
